Saturday, 22 December 2012

What Does Depression Feel Like?

I apologise in advance for the negativity contained in this post.

If you have never suffered from depression, you may well wonder what it feels like, whether to understand others better or maybe simple curiosity. Whatever the reason, the following is a brief excersise you can perform for a small glimpse at what faces a depressed person day in and day out, hour by the hour, minute by the minute..

Understand you likely won't be able to sink yourself quite as deep as a truly depressed person, but this will help you gain an idea.

Find yourself a nice, quite area where you won't be disturbed, for as long as you can concentrate.

Think about every single one of your perceived flaws.. You're too fat.. Too wrinkly.. Ugly.. Stupid.. and go on to blame yourself for every single one of your faults and for everything wrong in your life. Try your best to convince yourself it's all your fault. Go against all reason and logic.

Think about some terrible events in your life. Some truly terrible moments. Or imagine them. Imagine your marriage ending.. Your loved ones dead.. And blame yourself for all of it and reinforce that judgement of yourself.

Feel every single thought of joy, excitement, pride and self worth being sucked out of you, and being left as nothing like you were. Just a depressed wreck. Unable to think or act. Imagine that feeling being eternal.

Hold that feeling for as long as you can.

If you feel absolute sorrow and dread or similar emotions, you've succeeded to glimpse such a life.

Move on from that feeling, but never forget it. Especially when dealing with sufferers you know. Give them every ounce of care and patience you can spare, because you now know what it feels like there and how important it is you don't let people stay there if you can help it.

Do You Have Depression?

Sadness isn't unnatural and many of us feel down from time to time in our life. So how do we know when we are truly facing depression?

Depression is very complex, though there are warning signs and symptoms that may help assess your emotions.

Some warning signs of depression include

  • Less enjoyment from usual activities.
  • Less contentness from life
  • Feeling down, hopeless or irritable for extended periods of time
  • Feeling negative about yourself or poor self image
  • Sleeping problems or lack of appetite

These match often with the common symptoms of depression such as
  • Difficulty in function eg can't concentrate or make decisions
  • Losing interest eg in goals, in your partner, in your life
  • Overly self criticising
  • Feeling inadequate
  • Feeling lost, alone or guilty.. even with no reason

If you feel yourself matching up to these warnings and symptoms for some time, you may have depression. Professional assessment is often over looked for many reasons, though you'd be surprised how genuine and supportive some doctors can be.

Anti-Depressants and Me

Here's a little story about my experience with anti-depressants. A bit of insight into my views may help you consider yours. Here it goes..

A lot of my life has been filled with challenges.. poverty, bad home situation, and all the associated.

I've gone through issues after issues all without medication. Facing one thing after another. Just going on and on. I became numb. Distant. A shadow of my former self, so to speak.

This situation continued through my life, going up and down until the start of 2012, when I was beginning to go down again.

As is usual, I didn't notice it so much besides people around me telling me I was different. I felt different, but I was the same as ever right?

This carried on for some months until one night my heart started pounding. Slowly at first.. then I could feel it bashing against my chest painfully. My fingers, toes and face were going numb and tingly and very cold. I was dizzy and disorientated and sweating a lot. My tongue was tingling and had a terrible taste. I was terrified.

An ambulance was called for me fearing the worst and I received a diagnosis there on the spot... a (physically) harmless anxiety attack. My first full scale anxiety attack.

Since then I began to get them more and more regularly. My life began to change as I developed a fear for unfamiliar places, incase of an anxiety attack. Even going to the gym, which I used to love, was so difficult as the rise in heart rate made me fear a heart attack. Everything in life became difficult to the point even trying to relax sent me into a frenzy.

Pass a few weeks and a few doctors visits, I decided I had to do something about it. At this point I was having days off work unable to face the day ahead.

I decided before seeing the doctor that anti depressants where my best choice, pending his opinion, and he agreed that they may prove useful.

Pass another 6 weeks or so where I gradually became less and less anxious, life was beginning to look better. I wasn't in the clear yet, and I'm still not completely even after a few months of taking them, but things actually are looking a whole lot better.

Myself and others have noticed a change in myself. My anxiety still continues to diminish and my underlying depression is near gone. I've returned to being passionate about my interests and I've become close with people I've known for a long time but never really talked to. I never even realised how held back I was until I've become better.

So hearing that, I'd like you to consider if anti-depressants could possibly be a good choice for you. Make up your own mind, understand what's in what you're taking and go on what feels right to you.

Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

Why Read This Site?

Hey Reader,

There's a lot of information out there and I'd just like to talk to you a bit why you should or shouldn't hear it off me. I say "shouldn't" as maybe this site isn't for you. That's a decision for you.

Basically what sets me apart from other sites is that I write it as I feel it.

I've been through a lot of harsh depression, suicidal thoughts, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Agoraphobia, I'm fighting General Anxiety Disorder (I'm doing well), I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.. and a few more but you get the point.

I've grown up around mental illness and different disorders. I understand a lot and I don't judge.

I am not a Doctor, but I am a human. And sometimes that's what you need.

When I write, I write from experience. This means I won't give you a bunch of BS answers and suggestions when I know damn well they're useless. I write to you with the same suggestions and recommendations I'd give to myself, my mother or my best friend.

I don't simply read from a book and recite it to you. I blend research and my experiences and I share that with you.

I don't see you as a bunch of symptoms. I see you as a person who's suffering from symptoms.

I write with so much care and compassion, because I am reminded every day by the pain I see people close to me suffer, that to be there for some one suffering depression is just so, so, so important.

I know I can't be there for every person on the planet. I know I can't be there any time any reader needs it.

But I know I can share my care with all my heart and soul with my words and hope that it reaches you and comforts you knowing that people out there DO understand.

If you feel you need more than this site can give you, then I whole-heartedly recommend paying a visit to a trusted doctor and building up a network of people you can relate to.

I know you may despise seeing doctors, whether it feels anywhere from shameful to useless, but it has helped me.

If you feel there's no one suitable in your life you can relate to, then consider an online community of people facing the same issues as you.

I hope that has given you a bit of insight as into the ideas behind this site and it'd be great if you stick around.

What Is Depression (Straightforward Desription)

What is depression?

Depression is a constant struggle with feelings of hopelessness, sadness, despair and emptiness.

What isn't depression?

What isn't depression is feeling down from time to time. That's just normal life. Please don't confuse the two.

Depression is when feeling down becomes normal. When at the best of times, you can fake a smile, or maybe even hold one genuinely, but there's still that constant nagging feeling that things are wrong and ruined. A feeling of dread, emptiness or sadness.

Depression at the worst of times turns you into a complete mess. Everything is messed up and (it feels like) there's no escape. People in these states of mind can turn to feeling very numb and dead emotionally, and may too ponder or plan to be dead physically.

Depression can make it tough to function daily, turning what was once so common now into an overwhelming experience

Depression is very real and it is very difficult.

If you or a some one you care about is suffering with depression, I recommend strongly that you visit a trusted doctor and that you build up a strong network of people you can relate to.

I understand many sufferers feel they have no one, but if you're reading this online then I'm assuming you have access to online networks of people who really do understand you.

You aren't alone in this.

Friday, 21 December 2012

About Fighting Suicide and Depression

Fighting Suicide and Depression is a site dedicated to sufferers of depression as well as those who wish to help them.

I am not a medical professional and my information is based on my beliefs and experiences, as well as family and friends I've known all my life.

If you or some one you care about is suffering from suicidal tendencies or depression, understand you are not alone.

My name is Vaughn Thomas and I'm very glad we're having this interaction. You've made a great choice by visiting me today and I hope we can benefit each other in even the smallest of ways.

Over time we'll be discussing such issues as suicide, depression, eating disorders, low self esteem (among others) and we'll be discussing coping methods and possible solutions.

I hope you stay around for a while, read a few articles and leave a happier person then when you came.

Until next time,

Vaughn Thomas.